Wednesday, September 29, 2010


Crack pipe stashed in my diaper...$20.
Malt liquor paid for with WIC check...$3.
Boosted a pack of Newport 100's when the clerk wasn't looking...$6.50.
Being called Mother of the Year by the Urinal for leaving my baby unattended at the Happy Face on 20th & Greenfield...PRICELESS.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

September's tenant of the month is Larry. He lives in a one car garage and enjoys smoking weed, cheap wine and occasionally collecting aluminum cans. Great job paying the rent on time Larry!

Friday, September 24, 2010




Within 20 minutes of the sheriff leaving, the only thing that remains in my unit is the "stink" of it's former occupant.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

If this house could talk, I'm pretty sure it'd say that it hates you back.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Remember a few months ago, I showed you a lady that could only sign her name with an X?
Now when I collect the rent, my tenant hands off the money order to her 3rd grade daughter. Maybe in October my money order will come with a picture of a pony drawn in crayon.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010


The MENSA tenant of the week is Zandra. She dumped her fish tank down her kitchen sink (small stones and all), and is confused as to why the sink is now backed up.
Zandra contends that these two issues are unrelated and insists that the clog was caused by the grease that the city of Milwaukee puts into the water supply.
I told her that I too had heard this and suggested that she call her alderman.

Thursday, September 9, 2010


Assume nothing when giving instructions on how to complete a task. Example: Willie, please paint this wall, do it neatly and remove the faceplates from the sockets before starting.