I went through a unit yesterday after an eviction and started the process of cleaning it out and getting it ready for the next tenant.  They left behind roughly 6 cubic yards of belongings, this is pretty typical.  Usually I get Leroy and a trailer and we start taking everything to the dump.  But before I move it, I thought that on behalf of my former tenant, I'd say "thank you".

Through both your tax dollars and charitable donations:

Thank you for stocking my shelves with food.

Thank you for free medical care.

Thank you for a free phone.
Thank you for free car seats for my kids.
Thank you for programs for new vinyl windows.
Thank you for programs for free air conditioners
Thank you for providing me with some used furniture.

 

 

 

I could go either way on this one.  What do you think smells worse, the leopard print panties or the sewer?

Baby mama skipped out on me so I moved a new tenant in.  2 days later, the new tenant called and said that sewage was backing up into their unit.  The first two sewer cleaning companies couldn't fix the problem but they could diagnose it- turns out baby mama flushed so many baby wipes down the toilet that the last 10 feet of the lateral was packed with them.  It took a diesel engine powered water jet an hour to get the blockage free.  The pics didn't turn out well but you get an idea of what took place.  The only thing not pictured is me whimpering writing out a check for this service.

Holy crap!  I'm still killing roaches in this place.  Hey Tara, you forgot coffee cup.

Is it just me or are there some people that are not fit to live among us?

I evicted this (government subsidized) family and found them living among 1000's of roaches.    You DID help build this Mr. President.

Once a month or so, Mike breaks his shower handle and needs me to replace it.  Yesterday I saw him walking up to his door with 3 boxes of food and asked him if it was a good time for me to fix his problem.  2 minutes the shower was fine and as I'm leaving, Mike is trying to give me food as a 'thank you'.  I told him that I couldn't possibly take his food because it was meant for truly needy people and he should keep it.  But he was insistent and said that every week he is given more than he can use so he ends up throwing things out.  I asked Mike 'Who gives you this food?"  He said "you just go by the school up the block on Thursdays and they give it to you".  I pressed him on this "Yea Mike, but tell me about the program, is it a private group or government - who gives this to you?"  - No idea.

So there you have it, whether you are hungry or want to perpetuate a "King Rat" kind of barter system, go by the school on Thursdays, and get you free boxes of food.  FYI, this juice is delicious-I usually buy the generic.

Some things you shouldn't have to point out.  Example: Don't empty the burning charcoal remnants from your grill onto a wooden deck.