If someone won't move their jalopey ghetto-mobile, the following pictures will guide you through the process to have the car legally towed to the impound lot.

Do you see the faint black markings on the back of this house? They are the remnants of an attempted arson. The perp used a rag for a wick on a can of gas and set on fire. If I had to guess, I'd say that my tenants are selling weed and another dealer wants this street to himself. So following this line of thinking, whether my tenants die or simply have their house burn down, the competition is eliminated.


Fortunately the fire was spotted and put out immediately. Maybe I'll be posting a fatality in the next few weeks.

Why spend the money to buy a stroller when you can boost a shopping cart from your local Aldi?

Come on ladies, be honest. Who hasn't changed a tampon behind a fence at least once?
(Click to enlarge)

Notice the rectangular mark under the address, there used to be a mailbox there.

When you have to evict someone in the zone (orange placard on door) you are going to lose money. However, you can get a little bit of joy out of this situation by removing the mailbox. Former tenants are SERIOUSLY pissed off when they return to find they have no way of getting their 'check'. I'll try getting this reaction on video for you!

I told this tenant that we don't allow dogs and immediately noticed that she had a pit and rot. The rot got out of the fenced in yard and bit a young girl a block away (later killed by animal control). She rode out the entire eviction process and made me get the sheriff to move her out. The only things that the movers left was the stink of her dog, this is can of O.E..

If you work in an ad agency there must be enormous pressure come up with ideas that are cute and yet arcane. Here's an advertisement on 16th and Mitchell that is supposed to counteract 15 years of crappy parenting. If somebody REALLY wants a picture at this bus stop that would accurately depict the gloom of indigent single parenthood - why not use the picture below for starters?