If Obama had a son, he would have tagged my garage.

If YOU created a counterfeit check, I'll be YOU would be prosecuted.

An assistant DA called me about the Zoner that gave me this but she wasn't prosecuted. 

Here is a recent shot of Leroy.  He hasn't quit in about two weeks and even gave himself a 'uniform'.

This is Stephanie.  Like many Zoners, she is a jobless single parent with a social worker assigned to her.  Stephanie told me that her social worker instructed her to ask me for a 5 Day Notice to Evict (once a year UMOS will pay a person's rent with a valid 5 DN).

Translation = Zoner lies and tells a quasi government organization that she can't pay this month's rent.  Quasi government organization gives her a month's rent (your tax dollars) and zoner gets to pocket tax funded monthly assistance that she already has.

Dude, I know where your car is.

I know what you're thinking and you're right - I do share many traits with Mother Theresa.  Truth be told, I am a "giver".  That's why when I saw baby daddy (car pictured below) parking in my lot, I GAVE him some great advice. I told him that this lot was now being patrolled by a towing service and that if he didn't move his car, the chances were very good that it would be removed.  The next day, he parked in the same place, the bottom pic is the wrecker that snagged it.

Mi amigo Jose lives in the house next door and called me during the fracas warning me that baby daddy pulled a hand gun out of the trunk before the wrecker took it.  This tale may have one more chapter.