Man Leroy LOVES Christmas. He'll keep wearing the hat for another week or two.

These pools are expensive for landlords. It's always the same story; In August, they are filled with 100s of gallons of water...

And in December DNS they are a violation.

In the end, they turn out to be a few hundred dollars in water, $50 for the violation and about $350 for the inevitable eviction.

I backed into a full sized van and the result was the two vehicles got stuck together. Couldn't get the hitch off, glad I had the bottle jack with me. Turns out the owner of the van is a tenant that didn't care.

Do you remember Larry? He's the guy that was living in a garage that I rented. He caused a stir with the Police so DNS Milwaukee made me kick him out...

Well he's back!

His surroundings were humble to begin with and now they've been reduced to a single man tent, a few couch cushions, some tupperware and a bottle of ketchup. I'm not going to make him leave but sooner or later DNS will call me about him. I'll give you the update as soon as it happens.

If you're in the Zone and you hear opportunity knocking...It's because someone stole your doorbell.

Mr. Fluffy had all 9 lives smacked out of him at once. He was thrown out of a second story window.

Here is a double whammy of bad news - 1. Your power get turned off (extension cord). 2. You are getting evicted (pink notice).

On the bright side, at least you have a loving baby momma to come home to.

Lady in the Zone coming home from shopping in slippers and pajamas wearing an SEIU jacket. I wonder where she lives? Maybe it's this place with the homemade sign?

Lug nuts are optional in the Zone. The van is missing one on each tire. Do we need a stimulus program for lug nuts? The power brokers in the Big Lug Nut industry are clearly taking advantage of the people on Main Street.

Rafael died sitting on this very toilet. His family moved out a few days later. On a related note, if anyone is interested in a 3 bedroom lower with parking-let me know.

Here is a note I saw on a tenant's door. I truly don't know if this is tong and cheek or serious, any guesses? Let's chalk it up as a mild threat veiled in ebonics.

This dude looks like a lady...sort of.

I'm sitting in my vehicle watching a hooker talk to a guy that has pulled over for her. As she walks away, I realize this this hooker is a dude-maybe that's why her John wasn't interested.

Jermel, you know how you've been telling me about the water that flows into your basement when it rains really hard? Well I've been thinking about it and I believe that I've figured out the problem.

It's time for a little Zone trivia. What time does the average Zone Baby Mama get up in the morning? If you would like a hint, feel free to look at the pic below.

I worked hard to find a tenant for this commercial unit and finally found a guy to open a used appliance store. He made improvements to the unit for two months and was just about to open when the place was raided by cops at 4 am. Turns out the store was just a front and the REAL business was in the basement where he was making moonshine. Here is all that remains of his still.

Apparently clean conditions are not necessary for making liquor.

I must say that during this past summer I have witnessed many acts by baby daddys that actually make the Zone appear normal. Here is a baby daddy teaching his kid to ride a two wheeler. Don't get me wrong, I think this guy is doing the things a dad is supposed to do-I've just never seen it here before.

How about a warm welcome to the newest member of our team - Leroy! It's true, with our financial issues resolved - it's a fact that Leroy is back! It was a lonely 12 hours my friend, picking up garbage was not the same without you.

It's a very somber day for me today. Due to a dispute regarding payments on a loan, Leroy has turned in his resignation and will no longer be working with me. Everyone who worked with Leroy will miss him but will stay inspired by his many contributions to the Zone. We wish him well as he embarks on a new journey to pursue his interests.

Bill is an old drunk/shut in/ tenant of mine. I try to visit visit with him every few weeks but his apartment smells so bad that I try and talk to him through a window or out on his porch. Last week he fell asleep in a chair with a cigarette and managed to destroy his unit. Here is a picture of the chair he was sitting in. On the bright side, his apartment doesn't smell like garbage and piss anymore.

Betty is a tenant of mine. All I know about her is that she steals power from the lady that lives upstairs from her. Not sure why she sent a pic of herself to me but if anyone is interested, I'll pass on her number to you.

If someone won't move their jalopey ghetto-mobile, the following pictures will guide you through the process to have the car legally towed to the impound lot.

Do you see the faint black markings on the back of this house? They are the remnants of an attempted arson. The perp used a rag for a wick on a can of gas and set on fire. If I had to guess, I'd say that my tenants are selling weed and another dealer wants this street to himself. So following this line of thinking, whether my tenants die or simply have their house burn down, the competition is eliminated.


Fortunately the fire was spotted and put out immediately. Maybe I'll be posting a fatality in the next few weeks.

Why spend the money to buy a stroller when you can boost a shopping cart from your local Aldi?

Come on ladies, be honest. Who hasn't changed a tampon behind a fence at least once?
(Click to enlarge)

Notice the rectangular mark under the address, there used to be a mailbox there.

When you have to evict someone in the zone (orange placard on door) you are going to lose money. However, you can get a little bit of joy out of this situation by removing the mailbox. Former tenants are SERIOUSLY pissed off when they return to find they have no way of getting their 'check'. I'll try getting this reaction on video for you!

I told this tenant that we don't allow dogs and immediately noticed that she had a pit and rot. The rot got out of the fenced in yard and bit a young girl a block away (later killed by animal control). She rode out the entire eviction process and made me get the sheriff to move her out. The only things that the movers left was the stink of her dog, this is can of O.E..

If you work in an ad agency there must be enormous pressure come up with ideas that are cute and yet arcane. Here's an advertisement on 16th and Mitchell that is supposed to counteract 15 years of crappy parenting. If somebody REALLY wants a picture at this bus stop that would accurately depict the gloom of indigent single parenthood - why not use the picture below for starters?

I had to play Mr. Mom for a few days while my wife was out of town so I told my 5 year old that it was take your kid to the Zone week. Turns out that it wasn't as fun as I made it sound to him. Thanks for being a good sport Little Man!

If you think that this thing looks bad, you should try smelling it. It's hard to believe that somebody was sleeping on this thing. I know crack whores with higher standards.

Some have asked me -"What is the most useless goverment position that you have to deal with?"

This is a really tough question but Fire Inspector is one of the positions that comes to mind. The F.I. makes a yearly visit to a 3 (or more) unit property and looks at smoke detectors, carbon monoxide detectors and fire extinguishers. The landlord spends time and money preparing for this visit and within a WEEK, batteries are taken from detectors and about 30% of fire exinguishers are stolen or discharged.

This process is a complete farce. If your goverment thinks you are too incompetent to

do simple maintenance on your property without a permit, what makes them think that somebody that can hardly read and has no job skills is capable of fighting a fire?

Another tenant of notoriety.

From jsonline.com

An employee of Potawatomi Bingo and Casino and eight of his friends were indicted Tuesday on charges that they stole $168,000 from the casino by cheating on the Pick 8 bingo game.

Deandre Russell of Milwaukee, who worked at the casino, devised a scheme to cheat the game so his friends would win jackpots, according to the indictment, which was handed down in federal court in Milwaukee. The winners then shared their proceeds with Russell.

The defendants scammed the game on seven different occasions between Nov. 20, 2005, and Sept. 11, 2006, according to the indictment. The stolen jackpots ranged from $15,500 to $50,500.

As I was driving home from the Brewer game last night, I noticed a Milwaukee Animal Control van at the light next to me. I think he was headed towards Lincoln and 15th Pl. Oddly enough I used to own this building and sold it to the current owner (Jim) several years ago.

The following is from the Milwaukee Journal
July 9, 2011 11:26 a.m.
About 300 rats and a cat died in a fire Friday at a duplex in the 2200 block of S. 15th Place, Milwaukee Fire Department Deputy Chief Mike Romas said Saturday.

The rats were being raised to be fed to an estimated 25 snakes - including at least one boa constrictor - housed in the basement of the duplex, Romas said.

The fire was reported around 8:37 p.m. Friday and six people living in the upper and lower apartments escaped without injury, according to Romas.

Firefighters called animal control officials to remove the snakes, a turtle and other animals. The cat that died was one of eight cats at the duplex, Romas said.

The fire started in the basement and caused an estimated $50,000 in damage to the building. Cause of the fire is undetermined and remains under investigation, Romas said. There were no smoke detectors in the residences.

Here is a store around 25th and Greenfield. In the window you can see an orangutan dressed in a graduation cap & gown and holding a diploma. Can you say "insensitive"?

Have any of you ever named your car? This guy not only named his Dodge Stratus, but apparently he's so proud of it that he has a second one just like it? (and just out of curiosity, why is it called the "Silver Ram Flame" when it's a black car.)
Maybe my problem is that I've never had a vehicle that I've been really proud of...naah, go with your first instinct - this is lame.

I gave some old aluminum storm screens to Leroy. In order to get top scrap prices, he started breaking the glass out of them but in the process he cut his right testicle and received 7 stitches.

Currently I am having trouble deciding if his new nickname should be Oddball or Wreckingball. If you have a suggestion-let me know.

Click the pic to enlarge

Marquis and Michia (in white sitting on steps) were in court together at a child support hearing in the morning where he told her that he was going to shoot her. Later that day he shows up and proves that he wasn't kidding. Nobody was hurt but there were several arrests and this 1 block stretch was shut down for about 6 hours.

Cops were not too sympathetic with me but they are bureaucrats first, I've wanted to evict Michia for about two weeks now but 'baby daddy' doesn't live here and she has a lease with a term and has paid her rent-trying to evict her would go nowhere with any judge.

I remember learing how to write a check back in grade school...I guess they stopped teaching that. If this doesn't bounce, I'll be sure to let you know.